Location:  TARDIS/Valiant
Master Status:  Dashing, sexy, handsome, looks good in a suit.  Mean poncey bastard.

Dear Diary,

Why do I always fall for the wrong guy?!  Why why why why why?!?!  First he steals my ride, then he repaints her "whore house" red.  V V V dodgy, looks like the changing rooms team have been in.  He KNOWS I hate red and bet he ( Read more... )

Date:  Dunno.  Bored now.
Gray Hairs:  7.  Have named them after dwarves.
Location:   TARDIS

Ok what the hell happened to the TARDIS?  I know Time Lords like redecorating but this is ridiculous!  I mean, landed on Valiant and Martha's going on about her family over and over but when we find the TARDIS she seemed to perk up.  Least until she worked out ( Read more... )

Summary: So what do the characters really think of what goes on in the episodes? See the truth at the (very cracked) Very Secret Diaries!
Spoilers: Various, all entries have the episode title on so pretty obvious really!
Ratings: Let's just say adult for sexual innuendo and swearing and then we all know where we stand! 
Characters:  Ten, Jack, ( Read more... )

Date:  My first day as PM.  Go me!!
Location:  Number Ten.  Downing street. London.  T05 5ER
Lucy status:  Boringly respectable.

MWAHAhahahahahahahaa!  Yes!  Go me!! I am the Prime Minister!!  About bloody time, useless humans, I swear it used to be easier to conquer them, I must be losing my touch.  Still Archangel helped, stupid humans.  I mean ( Read more... )

Date:  4 days after the Doctor first picked me up.  Shit I missed my tutorial, gonna so get marked down for that!
Location:  Home.  London baby!  See, big red bus, tube sign, must be London!!  Just ignore that welsh street sign...
Hairstyle:  Down, straight and sexy.  Damn Jack for being so irresistable, needed to get out of my professional hairdo as ( Read more... )

Date:  Just after I was last here.  Tea time.
Gray Hairs:  0.  Doctor accidentally pulled out gray hairs....
Location:  London.  Could be worse, could have landed back in F'ing Cardiff.

Wow that was a rough trip.  Haven't had hangover this bad since 1911 when got v v v drunk and woke up in bed with entire rugby team.  And the ball.  Still could be ( Read more... )

Date:  About 4 days since I picked up Martha.  Lunch time.
Location:  Earth.  London.  Funny how London looks a lot like Wales sometimes...
Master Status:  Missing

Dear Diary,

Ow.  Ow ow ow.  Got hangover from the vortex jump.  Ow.  V Bad.  On other hand got to have quick grope of Jack whilst escaping.  Had to keep telling him to hold still as he kept ( Read more... )

Date:  The 27th February  100 trillion and three
Location:  The Silo, home to myself and my good friend Chantho for some time now.

I fear that the rocket may never fly.  I also fear that it will and I will be left alone here with Chan'tho for all eternity.  She is a sweet enough child but I'm afraid I never really liked feelers and that internal milk ( Read more... )

Chan'  Martha suggested I keep a diary tho.  Chan' not sure why tho.  Chan' is very annoying writing out Chan'tho all the time tho.  Chan' perhaps I will just keep it short and sweet tho.

Chan' he shot me! tho.

Chan' git shot me tho!

Chan' am dying tho.

Chan' can't really blame him though, I am driving myself insane with this whole Chan'tho business ( Read more... )

Date:  The Doctor says we are at the year 100 Trillion but I don't believe him.  I'm sure I just saw a stray copy of the London Lite!!
Location:  Cardiff then the end of the Universe.  Some dusty little godforsaken planet populated by feral people with bad teeth.  Reminds me of King's Cross station for some reason.
Hairstyle: Up and spiky.  Sexy but ( Read more... )